The Blank.

I sit here in the darkness,

Reminiscing with my soul.

Reminding it of the times we had spent together,

While hearing its sobs getting louder.

Something is pulling me deep down inside;

Wrenching my soul apart.

And every happy memory

Fails to imbue my heart.

The fear of losing you

Continues to run in my veins.

It suffuses like black smoke

Chokes me to death.

But don't you worry,

I'll trust and hope.

Even when you shatter it infinite times, into a million pieces;

I will clean my heart and love you back.

I will conceal the sadness, all those wounds,

And wear a smile.

I want to see you happy, 

I will do anything for you.

Innocent Love.

You came to me like the sweet smell of love,
With a promise never made, only felt.
You were a stranger, but you became closer to me,
Than anyone of whom I would have dreamt.

I saw you for the first time,
I saw honesty in your eyes.
Honesty I had never seen before
In anyone's eyes.

I barely knew you
You were a stranger
But this urge compelled me,
To explore and to go deeper.

You were like the light from the moon in this darkness...
Someone I wanted to  trust.
You were the reason I trusted my own existence,
I was high on stardust.

But then I started to doubt.
Did you fall for my pretty face?
Or was it my words fed to you with grace?
Would you still love me, 
If I am bereft of everything you like about me?
Would you still love me, 
If I am not who you wanted me to be?

House of Cards.

Piece by piece I saw it stack into a warm house of cards.
With love and care it grew higher and higher in all our hearts.

The merry times were imprinted deep in our minds,
No one could shatter so were our binds.

We swam through the high and fall,
And stuck together at our own call.

No wind could drown our spirits,
Our friendship and hard-work was our merit.

It was not the waters which drowned our fears,
It was the base which shook and left us in tears.

The house was vanquished.
We are in anguish.

The High In Fall.

Memories drenched in the realms of thoughts..

They remind me of you.

The symphony of colours with which you painted them,

The fine tune of the music imbibed therein,

They bring to me your scent.

Diffused in the cold breeze.

I drink you in.

I feel you.

The more I succumb,

The deeper I fall.

I don't want to rise,

If falling in love makes me feel so high.

I stare in your beautiful eyes,

Feel your lips upon mine,

Your cold fingers wrapped around my waist.

I could sway in your arms forever.

No bliss is more ecstatic.

No moment so pure.

Even if it's existence is surreal

You are so close.

Absence.

When I cross you,
A thousand memories cross my mind.
Being just a few steps
You're but miles apart.
The more I try to come near,
Further apart you rush.
I turn around and
Memories gush.

Why do you not abandon
My memories too?
Why give me tears when
I think of you?

Leave my life once and for all.
Away you should go
Take my heart.
For it is not mine to keep.
I can live without you.

Identity.

To be or not to be.

I keep on thinking who am I?

As a kid, I remember, a sudden realisation would dawn upon me that I exist. My decisions are my own, and I have utter control over things..over myself.

I can raise my hand.

I can lift my foot.

Oh yes! God does not control me..no one does..I do whatever I feel like.

Sounds funny right?

To me too..

But now when I think about do I really control myself?

The answer comes to me as a disappointing no.

How often do we take decisions keeping only ourselves in mind?

As we grow, we assume a social disguise and go by the norms of the community we live in. But who defines normal?

What might be normal to one may be a disaster to another!

We all have got an amazing but complicated conscious mind which makes us aware of our existence and surroundings. It helps us frame what we want from our lives, but this does not happen exclusive of the society.

Also, there is a huge influence of our loved ones on us even if we fail to realise it readily.

It is not wrong to keep others in mind while taking decisions, but it is important to be yourself when you do so.

We are unique individuals, so unique that even in billions we wont find an exact copy of ourselves. Each of us have our own set of qualities. We have got a rationale behind every thought. What helps us develop our identity is our decision to choose which qualities we want to enhance, and set forth to the world; and what we choose to think, and attribute utmost priority too.

So if we are so unique, why not celebrate it?

Yes I am not perfect. But nor are you.

So I should feel happy about myself, isn't it?

I am perfect in my own sense. Hence I should sit back and relax?

No. 

I should feel happy about who I am, but that is not it.

I am not the optimum self I could be. There is always room for more! 

I am what I think and do, not how I am expected to be. That defines me. I am how I present myself but my identity is not determined by my skin or how I look.

Be the self you want to be. Be confident. Don't feel bad if you are not there yet because life is all about striving to be who you are. Be what you aspire to be.

Why I Write.

There are so many things one can do to express themselves, so why do I choose to write?

Writing is a tool which helps one to state facts; one's opinions, or theories; and to lay down their thoughts, feelings, or ideas. It opens up the door for a plethora of knowledge and inspiration. Because some people find it difficult to express themselves in person, they resort to do so by writing. A powerful piece of writing has the ability to teleport the reader into another world, full of enthralling picturesque. One forgets reality.

For me, writing is like a therapy to channelize my emotions onto the paper; when I can not say something out loud, I write it down. It is sharing even when no one else reads it, because I let out whatever lies in my heart. I feel lighter. It is similar to having an imaginary friend who knows everything about me and my feelings and chooses to respect me for who I am within and empathize with me at the same time.

Another reason which makes writing beautiful, is its quality to evoke emotions and an entire thought process in the reader. People rationalize. They put their gray cells to use, which is an amazing thing to do, considering how easily we run away from critical thinking.

Writing is an expression of oneself, their beliefs, and their ideologies. One should write to be able to analyse themselves and how they think. This would help them to know themselves in a deeper way. Writing reflects the writer's personality. It tells the world who one is or aspires to be. I write to express myself; to evoke a thought in my reader; and to share an idea, and receive feedback. Writing is the most amazing and powerful tool to express and communicate freely.

The Blue Ink.

I see you there:

Sitting on a chair.

Your eyes lost in thought,

Your mouth lost for words.

You are still as a showpiece.

You show not your emotions.

Yet your character reflects deepness,

Your demeanour pensiveness.

There is a pool of bitter memories

Surging through your mind,

And here you sit calmly

Relishing your wine.

I hear the thunder strike.

I see how the rain

Trips down your window pane.

I see the droplets beseech,

But I see you not succumb.

There is an air of despair;

Resonance of melancholy.

I look at your eyes,

And see myself.

When you lift your eyes;

I discern myself.

Relations.

Let me start by telling you all about what happened yesterday. I was coming back home, from college, in an auto. I was seated in front, near the driver's seat. Not a big deal. It was a little uncomfortable when a third person was going to be adjusted there, but then the man sitting behind, offered me his seat and sat in front himself. For many of you it would be just normal. It wasn't a problem for me either, but these small little gestures by someone whom I don't know and who do not know me, matter a lot. I felt happy. It was so good to see that there are men who care for and respect women. 

This was about how one just relates to other people in a society, without even knowing them. These relations are often ignored and taken for granted. The problem is that we fail to be close to people. We hesitate in helping them, and there is no particular reason to why we do this apart from the clichéd idea, "Why should I care?". Of course one should care. That is a part of being human. 

Now there are relations which matter so much to us that we attribute days in the calender to celebrate them! One such day is today, Rakshabandhan, it celebrates the beautiful relation between a brother and a sister. The sister ties a 'rakhi ' on to her brother's wrist, who promises to protect and care for her throughout his life. This tie strengthens their relation every year, for life.

 In contrast to the societal relations, personal relations, like the one we share with our sibling(s), are extremely special! We're the closest to them. They love us, care for us, tease us, irritate us, they know all about us. Yet if time tarnishes those relations, we should put an effort into renewing our relationship with them. After all, we never know what life has in store for us.

It is our relationships with people, ranging from strangers to loved ones, which add value to our lives and make us happy. So always bring a smile on some face. :)

Finally here is what rings a bell whenever the word 'relationship' comes to my mind. 

Because every relation doesn't need a name! :D 

Finally my first blog on my birthday!

Okay. So I discovered my love for writing two whole months back; here I am with my first post, only now, on my birthday. I thought to myself, "There could not be a finer day for this!" The man who inspired me to do so is my cousin, Mr. Saurav Goyal. You should go check his blog: http://goyalsaurav.blogspot.in/
It was always a habit to write down stuff, but it got serious when I stayed with my friend Tamanna. So here I am to share what I feel and make you think from a different perspective, if we already do not happen to be on the same page.

Why the title "Music from Chaos"?

All of our lives are nothing but chaos. Life is a mess of tangled threads which we strive to untangle and put in place. Those who do it with annoyance, lose the essence of life. Their journey becomes a question mark. When you do it with a smile on your face, you savour the music of life. To be able to enjoy every moment that you are gifted with, you should always hunt for the fine tune button and improvise. Try to hear what others miss! Go smooth, then through the ups and downs, rock and roll, and then jazz it all up! That is how you extract the music from chaos, the little or big things that make you happy from a giant heap of monotony, stress and distress!

So all of you guys out there, reading this, I would want you to stick with me for an endless journey which I hope to keep updated regularly; I promise I would not bore you!

Stay happy! :D 

P.S. - My birthday was over 15 minutes back! :P
But who cares?!