That feeling when you drown.

I breathe.
Every sec.
Without thinking;
I don't give it importance.
I don't realise,
Until I suffocate.
Nothing fills my body at this point except fear;
I panic.
I would do anything to come up...
To not be engulfed by this monster...
Which gave me peace and happiness just a moment ago.
My feet paddle,
Struggling to come up.
My hands slapping the water,
Or waiting for someone to grab them.
I want to scream,
But I don't.
The water enters my nostrils.
I suffocate even more.
I want to come up.
I'd give up anything to come up.
It scares me,
To not be able to live again.
I want to live.
But I drown.
I go deeper.
Without wanting to.
Now I am still.
As much I can be.
There is no hope.
I think my brain has stopped thinking.
It is just there..
It has given up....
But I haven't reached the bottom yet;
I want to touch the ocean bed.
So that I can muster up the courage to jump,
I want to be able to float again.